February 10

Tomorrow is February 10. This date sticks out clearly in my mind and I am not sure how I feel about it. February 10 was my due date. It was a date that I was meant to look forward to. I don't know if I dread it now or quite how I feel. Had things worked out, I would have either already become a mother or been at the maximum, 2 weeks from becoming one. I feel like all my thoughts on this date and this landmark are muddled and I don't know what to make of it. I don't know if I feel sadness, anger, depression, acceptance? I spent a lot of time thinking about this day-and I find it strange that I don't know how I feel now that it has arrived. I think the word that might describe it a certain quietness. It was a date that was supposed to be so thrilled about and now it is just another day.