Wednesday, June 3, 2015
That last post? Survival
remember that last post? Survival, friends. Survival. Today I put Theo in the Lille baby buckle carrier and Gentry in the stroller with an apple at swim. Because when you have 3 that are 3 and under, you survive. And that post that preceded this one just doesn't even matter.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Convenience Items
I need to write about so many things. Theo's birth, for example.
But today something else is on my mind and I wonder if other moms struggle with this or if it is just me.
There are so many convenience items in our society. Things that make parenting "easier." Examples of these: Swings, bouncy seats, bouncy saucers, car seats that come out of the car, movies, TV, snacks, snack holders, strollers, ipads and other digital devices that come with us places, and on and on and on.
I really struggle with these items. Are they convenient now but create other issues later? Examples: snacks to constantly keep kids busy and happy might become an eating/obesity issue later, especially since the snacks are usually carb-y such as crackers, puffs, pretzels, etc. The car seat may come out and leave mom hands free but then kids can end up with weak necks, flat spots and could it possibly affect their bonding with mom/dad/caretakers? Same with the swing and bouncy seat, etc. A baby wants to be with mom and yet it seems like we are always trying to find a device to "babysit" our kids and keep them happy while we do other things. There is tons of literature on TV, movies and digital devices so I feel like I don't need to get into why or why not on those.
So anyway. I've never been a snack bringer. I just haven't been able to bring myself to pacify my kids with food. Maybe I worry they will get fat. Maybe I worry it sends the wrong message about food.
I have totally struggled with the idea of taking the car seat out of the car this time. I wear Theo in a ring sling right now. This creates some problems tho. Like when we go to swimming, I have to chase Gentry while wearing Theo and try to get Barrett showered and dressed while not letting Theo get bonked or having his head fall back and trying to keep Gentry from running out of the locker room. Its a mess which could be easier if Gentry was strapped into a stroller and Theo in the car seat.
Back with the swimming example...I wouldn't even have to chase Gentry if I let him play with my phone or other device, something I have never done.
Sigh.
I know I complicate my own life by not utilizing these convenience items. Swimming would feel less like running a marathon while trying to heard cats. I wouldn't be typing this one handed because Theo would be in his swing rather than snuggled against me.
What I don't know that I wish I did was the effect of all this stuff on kids for real. Like am I raising hellions because they run around during swim and get chased by me? Or is this helping them be active and independent boys? The moms with kids watching movies and playing apps or with babies in strollers sure look a lot less frazzled than me and actually sit for most of the lessons. The moms that click and unclick the car seat at preschool drop off or the store make loading and unloading so much faster and streamlined looking than me...
And yet for my parenting style it doesn't feel right, these convenience items. However...I'm seriously frazzled and running after someone all the time. Home is easier than out. My kids don't sit still eating. It's hard to take them places. They're busy and active. So am I raising boys who will stay active and busy but learn the time and place? Or am I raising hellions that will struggle to sit still in school and not be able to be taken places?
Parenting decisions are hard. And avoiding these things is hard on me, particularly. I wonder if I am just making my life harder, unnecessarily.
But today something else is on my mind and I wonder if other moms struggle with this or if it is just me.
There are so many convenience items in our society. Things that make parenting "easier." Examples of these: Swings, bouncy seats, bouncy saucers, car seats that come out of the car, movies, TV, snacks, snack holders, strollers, ipads and other digital devices that come with us places, and on and on and on.
I really struggle with these items. Are they convenient now but create other issues later? Examples: snacks to constantly keep kids busy and happy might become an eating/obesity issue later, especially since the snacks are usually carb-y such as crackers, puffs, pretzels, etc. The car seat may come out and leave mom hands free but then kids can end up with weak necks, flat spots and could it possibly affect their bonding with mom/dad/caretakers? Same with the swing and bouncy seat, etc. A baby wants to be with mom and yet it seems like we are always trying to find a device to "babysit" our kids and keep them happy while we do other things. There is tons of literature on TV, movies and digital devices so I feel like I don't need to get into why or why not on those.
So anyway. I've never been a snack bringer. I just haven't been able to bring myself to pacify my kids with food. Maybe I worry they will get fat. Maybe I worry it sends the wrong message about food.
I have totally struggled with the idea of taking the car seat out of the car this time. I wear Theo in a ring sling right now. This creates some problems tho. Like when we go to swimming, I have to chase Gentry while wearing Theo and try to get Barrett showered and dressed while not letting Theo get bonked or having his head fall back and trying to keep Gentry from running out of the locker room. Its a mess which could be easier if Gentry was strapped into a stroller and Theo in the car seat.
Back with the swimming example...I wouldn't even have to chase Gentry if I let him play with my phone or other device, something I have never done.
Sigh.
I know I complicate my own life by not utilizing these convenience items. Swimming would feel less like running a marathon while trying to heard cats. I wouldn't be typing this one handed because Theo would be in his swing rather than snuggled against me.
What I don't know that I wish I did was the effect of all this stuff on kids for real. Like am I raising hellions because they run around during swim and get chased by me? Or is this helping them be active and independent boys? The moms with kids watching movies and playing apps or with babies in strollers sure look a lot less frazzled than me and actually sit for most of the lessons. The moms that click and unclick the car seat at preschool drop off or the store make loading and unloading so much faster and streamlined looking than me...
And yet for my parenting style it doesn't feel right, these convenience items. However...I'm seriously frazzled and running after someone all the time. Home is easier than out. My kids don't sit still eating. It's hard to take them places. They're busy and active. So am I raising boys who will stay active and busy but learn the time and place? Or am I raising hellions that will struggle to sit still in school and not be able to be taken places?
Parenting decisions are hard. And avoiding these things is hard on me, particularly. I wonder if I am just making my life harder, unnecessarily.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Preschool and the push for academics
I have been struggling to figure out what to do for preschool in the coming years. Preschool, in my mind, is a time for kids to play and learn thru play. It is time for them to learn fine (and gross) motor skills thru all kinds of play, art, music, etc.
I am super disheartened by the new common core standards in schools. I am really worried about all the testing. Most of all, I worry about the push for academics at earlier and earlier ages. When you start to hear that teachers are asking for more classroom time to prepare for tests (and getting rid or recess to find those extra minutes), it is concerning. Why are we asking preschoolers to recognized letters? Why do kindergartners need to read? From what I have read and researched, there is no evidence supporting the push for literacy. In most cases, a child that learns to read in kindergarten will be at the same place a child who learned to read in 3rd grade is by 4th grade.
And why do we believe the stuff we are testing is the "right" stuff for kids to know? Why would reading and math trump say, artistic abilities like paining, drawing, music and dance? Why would they trump things like building and imagining and engineering-inventing-physical movement? Is it because reading and math are the easiest to test and we as a society feel like we have to have measurements to be sure we are "doing a good job?" And while I understand that literacy is an important building block for other skills, I don't think that it should trump other skills that are perhaps even more important like thinking critically, outside the box, coming up with original thoughts and maybe, just maybe, finding a passion and following it.
Where am I going with this? Well since Kindergarten is the new first grade and students should show up "knowing all their letters" and perhaps even having a limited ability to read, parents and preschool (or pre-K) teachers are feeling pressure to teach academics at ever younger ages so that kids are prepared for the rigors of kindergarten. What is lost in these now academically minded preschool programs? Play. Imagination. Innovation. And while some kids are excited to learn letters and numbers and early literacy at 3 and 4, other kids are not and putting pressure on them to learn them so early could potentially cause them to end up not enjoying learning.
I want a program that is play based and fosters imagination. At this early age, I could honestly care less whether my child can read, much less recognize letters or numbers. If he wants to? Great! More power to him. If he doesn't? Great too! He is building other very important skills too! The problem is, to have a high quality program in preschool, the parents want to hear from the kindergarten teachers that their child (who just finished said high quality program) is well prepared for kindergarten and perhaps even ahead of the curve in the class. It makes parents feel like they invested well in preschool and that their child is at the top end of the class. As a result, preschool teachers feel obligated to "teach" academics so that their programs appear more high quality. Never mind the fact that teaching academics isn't even developmentally appropriate at this age....or at 6 or 7 for that matter.
So what to do about school next year. Right now, Barrett is in a 2's class which is perfect. Play, art, music, presentation of concepts, developing motor skills, etc. But I know that his school, which we love, is definitely feeling the pressure to prepare kids in an academic way so in 3's it gets more academic and by 4's they feel like they need them 5 days a week to "prepare them for kindergarten." Ugh.
I am faced with the dilemma of whether to put Barrett in his current preschool, try to find a new one or home school. I do know that I fully believe preschool, kindergarten even 1st grade and beyond should be a time for play, discovery, enjoyment, and learning to love learning - not memorization, teaching to a test, teaching narrowly, etc. At the same time, that is not what society has determined is important and as such, following these principles would place my kids behind the curve come kindergarten (if we go the public school route). So there we have it. A dilemma. Ultimately, I have decided to wait until the end of the summer to make a final decision on what direction to go...but who knew a decision as simple as preschool could be so hard!
I am super disheartened by the new common core standards in schools. I am really worried about all the testing. Most of all, I worry about the push for academics at earlier and earlier ages. When you start to hear that teachers are asking for more classroom time to prepare for tests (and getting rid or recess to find those extra minutes), it is concerning. Why are we asking preschoolers to recognized letters? Why do kindergartners need to read? From what I have read and researched, there is no evidence supporting the push for literacy. In most cases, a child that learns to read in kindergarten will be at the same place a child who learned to read in 3rd grade is by 4th grade.
And why do we believe the stuff we are testing is the "right" stuff for kids to know? Why would reading and math trump say, artistic abilities like paining, drawing, music and dance? Why would they trump things like building and imagining and engineering-inventing-physical movement? Is it because reading and math are the easiest to test and we as a society feel like we have to have measurements to be sure we are "doing a good job?" And while I understand that literacy is an important building block for other skills, I don't think that it should trump other skills that are perhaps even more important like thinking critically, outside the box, coming up with original thoughts and maybe, just maybe, finding a passion and following it.
Where am I going with this? Well since Kindergarten is the new first grade and students should show up "knowing all their letters" and perhaps even having a limited ability to read, parents and preschool (or pre-K) teachers are feeling pressure to teach academics at ever younger ages so that kids are prepared for the rigors of kindergarten. What is lost in these now academically minded preschool programs? Play. Imagination. Innovation. And while some kids are excited to learn letters and numbers and early literacy at 3 and 4, other kids are not and putting pressure on them to learn them so early could potentially cause them to end up not enjoying learning.
I want a program that is play based and fosters imagination. At this early age, I could honestly care less whether my child can read, much less recognize letters or numbers. If he wants to? Great! More power to him. If he doesn't? Great too! He is building other very important skills too! The problem is, to have a high quality program in preschool, the parents want to hear from the kindergarten teachers that their child (who just finished said high quality program) is well prepared for kindergarten and perhaps even ahead of the curve in the class. It makes parents feel like they invested well in preschool and that their child is at the top end of the class. As a result, preschool teachers feel obligated to "teach" academics so that their programs appear more high quality. Never mind the fact that teaching academics isn't even developmentally appropriate at this age....or at 6 or 7 for that matter.
So what to do about school next year. Right now, Barrett is in a 2's class which is perfect. Play, art, music, presentation of concepts, developing motor skills, etc. But I know that his school, which we love, is definitely feeling the pressure to prepare kids in an academic way so in 3's it gets more academic and by 4's they feel like they need them 5 days a week to "prepare them for kindergarten." Ugh.
I am faced with the dilemma of whether to put Barrett in his current preschool, try to find a new one or home school. I do know that I fully believe preschool, kindergarten even 1st grade and beyond should be a time for play, discovery, enjoyment, and learning to love learning - not memorization, teaching to a test, teaching narrowly, etc. At the same time, that is not what society has determined is important and as such, following these principles would place my kids behind the curve come kindergarten (if we go the public school route). So there we have it. A dilemma. Ultimately, I have decided to wait until the end of the summer to make a final decision on what direction to go...but who knew a decision as simple as preschool could be so hard!
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