Night Weaning

Google "Night weaning" and you will come up with an incredible number of websites from baby center to kellymom to Dr. Sears to Dr. Ferber. Every website seems to have "the answer" to chronic waking up in the middle of the night.

I have slept less than 3 hours in a stretch for over 6 months and while I would like to think that I am handing it remarkably well, it can't be good to be chronically sleep deprived. 

I have read advice from "pat your child when then wake and gently tell them that they can eat in the morning and help them to fall back asleep" - um...clearly these "gentle patters" have never had a baby who wakes and cries and wont go back to sleep until he gets what he wants - a midnight trip to the milk bar. 

I have read that you just have to let them cry...I can't stomach it. Even chronic sleep deprivation doesn't win when I hear my baby cry and I know that I can fix it with a quick feeding. 

I keep hoping that he will just suddenly start sleeping thru the night on his own. And there are glimpses of this. The nights were I go to bed at 10pm and he has his last feeding then and then he wakes to eat at 1am and at 5am and then wakes for the day at 7. These are the good nights - where I think that we are making progress. 

But then for every night that I think we are almost there, there are nights like last night and the night before where he wakes to eat at 11:30pm, 1:00am, 2:30am, 3:40am, 5:00am and 6:50am. And the only thing that will get him to go back to sleep is to feed him. It's like having a newborn infant again. And these nights happen much more than the good 2 night waking nights. 

I haven't figured out what the magical answer is, but I definitely have goals in mind. 

• Get Bear to sleep with only 1 night waking 
• Get one solid 6 hour stretch of sleep for both of us
• Move bear into his crib next to our bed for night time sleeping

I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night - it is the every 1-3 hours that get me. I am pretty sure I never hit a deep sleep pattern with all of this waking up. 

Bear is a very good baby and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a parent. He has the biggest smiles and cries when tired or when he has gas that gets stuck but otherwise, he is very well adjusted and he just melts my heart. But when we are on our second, third, fourth, fifth night of waking in the middle of the night 5 or more times, it wears on you. I am mostly worn down in the middle of the night but then the morning comes and he smiles sweetly and everything is forgotten. 

I didn't ever consider the idea that I would still be waking like I had a newborn at almost 7 months old. I really need to figure out this whole sleeping thing. I will keep you updated along the way and let you know how things are playing out. 

Sleepless

Sleep is our most difficult thing related to Barrett. He still sleeps 100% of the time in bed with us. We moved his crib into our room with the intention of slowly working on transitioning him to it and then moving it away from our bed, into the hallway and eventually into his room.

He refuses to sleep in it.

I think the problem is that he really likes to be close to someone or cozy. He will sleep alone in his car seat and in his stroller with blankets in with him. And at this point, I am less inclined to force naps in his crib and just allow him to nap in his bob stroller. Whatever works at the end of the day that allows me to have some hands free time :)

Night time is still tough. He really wants to wake up and nurse 4 times or more a night. I have been working on stretching out his night time feedings which actually makes me more tired that being up 4 times to feed him because he will fuss and be awake for an hour or so while he continues to let me know that he would like to eat.

Last night, for example, he went to sleep at 8pm and woke to eat at 11pm at which point I fed him. Then he woke at 2:30 wanting to eat and I pushed him to 3:30 but during that hour, neither one of us slept. Then he woke at 4:30 hoping for a snack and I finally gave in at 5:15 when he really started to crank up. After that, he woke again at 8:00am to eat at which point we got up for the day.

Even with the sleeplessness and frustration that comes with not sleeping more than 4 hours in one chunk for over 6 months - his smiles and his personality just melt my heart. I love this little guy!

Sleep

Sleep has become a problem for us - well, me mostly - but us a little.

Bear wakes up EVERY.TWO.HOURS.ALL.NIGHT.LONG.

I don't remember what real sleep is like. 

 This has been going on for a month, maybe more and before that, we were getting one 4 hour stretch and several 3 hour stretches. 

I am stubborn. Bear is exclusively breastfed. 

Formula makes me nervous with recalls and stuff. 

But eff. 

I look ragged. Run down. I have dark circles. And by gosh - I am becoming a grouch. Or a crumudgeon - whatever. I'm pretty sour about it. 

It doesn't seem to be getting any better. 

The Pediatric Society or Association or whatever they call themselves says no solids until he is 6 months. 

The idea of being this run down and sleepless for another 2.5 months is unthinkable. To put that in perspective - I have until March 23. 

And here's the thing. I refuse to let my selfish desire for sleep interfere with Bears health. Stubborn.

But let me say it again. Eff. I'm tired!