Sedona

 Blue skies, Red Rocks

 Sleeping on the trail

 Family Photo Op

 Red Rocks

 Double Rainbow with very grey skies

 Playing with the "kids"

 Snow cold and clouds

Food Mustache

Technology Detox

I remember back in middle school when we had computer lab class and had to try to learn how to type. At the time, I didn't know the internet existed...for that matter, did it exist?

I remember when I got my first email account and I hardly knew how to use it - it was in Junior year in high school because I was living in Spain and lets me honest, I wrote snail mail and don't think I hardly logged into my email.

I remember when I got my first email for college and had a hard time checking it frequently. I remember when they introduced Blackboard, an online forum for college classes that everyone seemed unhappy about (to my knowledge, most college classes now have a Blackboard component and it is considered totally normal now).

I was late on the MySpace bandwagon and never got all that in to making it pretty, adding photo buckets or whatever else you did on MySpace.

I was late to texting. I hated it. It was impersonal. I had a basic phone with no internet and T9 word rather than a full keyboard texting.

I joined Facebook in 2006 but hardly used it. I hardly logged on and didn't have very many "friends" on it.

Then something happened. Something slow.

I started texting more than calling people.

I started checking Facebook more than before.

I got a smart phone with internet.

I joined pintrest.

And suddenly, I realized I was checking my Facebook page 50x a day - not that there was anything new, not that I expected anything to be on there - but I checked it all the time.

I looked on Pinterest and pinned things. I saw amazing arts and crafts and things that uber moms seemed to be doing. I drooled and felt amazed that some moms were so crafty...and amazing...and super.

I had stopped using my MySpace account years before. I didn't like the idea that it was still out there but couldn't remember my login and didn't have access to the email account that I had used to create it. After months and months, I finally got it deleted. I sent emails and emails and more emails until they finally made it go away.

That was over a year ago.

Meanwhile, my Facebook addiction continued to grow. I joined Pinterest about 4 months ago and was semi-obsessed, but not on my Facebook addiction level.

The terms of Pinterest were brought to my attention. They made me nervous. So I quit pinterest. Happily, I didn't even really feel like I was missing anything. I no longer had to feel inadequate that I am not crafty and that there were women out there that could make a paper clip into a jungle gym or built forts for their kids with custom sewn sheets rather than living room blankets and pillows.

I no longer had to feel like a slouch for my efforts on Bear's room (or lack-thereof). I didn't have to feel bad that I wouldn't be able to show Bear the pictures of the custom paint (because I left it sandstone), the stencil decals (because they didn't exist), the fancy window treatments (because there weren't any) or the fancy letters hanging from silk ribbons with Bears name on them (because I didn't do those either).

I quit pinterest.

Step 1.

I have noticed, increasingly, that Nick and I spend a lot of time on our phones. Texting people who aren't with us. Checking Facebook for updates from acquaintances. We could go to dinner and I would look at us both checking our phones. We would go for a drive and I would be nose deep in my phone looking for the latest updates. It made me sad. We were missing out on eachother.

I was sitting on the floor with Bear and he was happily playing. I was on my phone checking Facebook. What was wrong with me. I had the opportunity to spend time with my baby, play with him, smile with him, help him learn...and I was checking Facebook.

And so, I am curbing my addiction. I am not saying I will quit Facebook because that just seems so extreme and there are things that I like about it. But I am on a detox. I am 5 days in. I deleted the app from my phone and have not checked it once in 5 days.

I still think about it a lot. I think I need to stay away until I stop thinking about it so much.

So I am off pinterest, on a break from Facebook and I would like to try to call people more and text less.

It is so crazy to me that in 7 years, Facebook has become such a huge part of my life.

So here's to spending more time with Bear and less time on Facebook.

Night Weaning

Google "Night weaning" and you will come up with an incredible number of websites from baby center to kellymom to Dr. Sears to Dr. Ferber. Every website seems to have "the answer" to chronic waking up in the middle of the night.

I have slept less than 3 hours in a stretch for over 6 months and while I would like to think that I am handing it remarkably well, it can't be good to be chronically sleep deprived. 

I have read advice from "pat your child when then wake and gently tell them that they can eat in the morning and help them to fall back asleep" - um...clearly these "gentle patters" have never had a baby who wakes and cries and wont go back to sleep until he gets what he wants - a midnight trip to the milk bar. 

I have read that you just have to let them cry...I can't stomach it. Even chronic sleep deprivation doesn't win when I hear my baby cry and I know that I can fix it with a quick feeding. 

I keep hoping that he will just suddenly start sleeping thru the night on his own. And there are glimpses of this. The nights were I go to bed at 10pm and he has his last feeding then and then he wakes to eat at 1am and at 5am and then wakes for the day at 7. These are the good nights - where I think that we are making progress. 

But then for every night that I think we are almost there, there are nights like last night and the night before where he wakes to eat at 11:30pm, 1:00am, 2:30am, 3:40am, 5:00am and 6:50am. And the only thing that will get him to go back to sleep is to feed him. It's like having a newborn infant again. And these nights happen much more than the good 2 night waking nights. 

I haven't figured out what the magical answer is, but I definitely have goals in mind. 

• Get Bear to sleep with only 1 night waking 
• Get one solid 6 hour stretch of sleep for both of us
• Move bear into his crib next to our bed for night time sleeping

I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night - it is the every 1-3 hours that get me. I am pretty sure I never hit a deep sleep pattern with all of this waking up. 

Bear is a very good baby and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a parent. He has the biggest smiles and cries when tired or when he has gas that gets stuck but otherwise, he is very well adjusted and he just melts my heart. But when we are on our second, third, fourth, fifth night of waking in the middle of the night 5 or more times, it wears on you. I am mostly worn down in the middle of the night but then the morning comes and he smiles sweetly and everything is forgotten. 

I didn't ever consider the idea that I would still be waking like I had a newborn at almost 7 months old. I really need to figure out this whole sleeping thing. I will keep you updated along the way and let you know how things are playing out. 

Swim Baby!

Mommy, this is FUN!

Naked swimming? Yes Please! (Bear, not us!)

Daddy, you're so funny!

Mommy Dunked Me!

Sleepless

Sleep is our most difficult thing related to Barrett. He still sleeps 100% of the time in bed with us. We moved his crib into our room with the intention of slowly working on transitioning him to it and then moving it away from our bed, into the hallway and eventually into his room.

He refuses to sleep in it.

I think the problem is that he really likes to be close to someone or cozy. He will sleep alone in his car seat and in his stroller with blankets in with him. And at this point, I am less inclined to force naps in his crib and just allow him to nap in his bob stroller. Whatever works at the end of the day that allows me to have some hands free time :)

Night time is still tough. He really wants to wake up and nurse 4 times or more a night. I have been working on stretching out his night time feedings which actually makes me more tired that being up 4 times to feed him because he will fuss and be awake for an hour or so while he continues to let me know that he would like to eat.

Last night, for example, he went to sleep at 8pm and woke to eat at 11pm at which point I fed him. Then he woke at 2:30 wanting to eat and I pushed him to 3:30 but during that hour, neither one of us slept. Then he woke at 4:30 hoping for a snack and I finally gave in at 5:15 when he really started to crank up. After that, he woke again at 8:00am to eat at which point we got up for the day.

Even with the sleeplessness and frustration that comes with not sleeping more than 4 hours in one chunk for over 6 months - his smiles and his personality just melt my heart. I love this little guy!

6 months old

• Sleep is our most difficult item. Bear sleeps in bed with us 100% of the time and will cry very hard if we put him in the pack n play next to our bed. He has never woken up less than 2x between 8pm-7am and over the past several weeks, he has been waking up every 1 to 2 hours. I am pretty tired.
• Naps vary from 2 to 3 naps a day and generally last a little less than an hour.
• Sleeps on his side facing me
• Nurses every 2-3 hours during the day and every time he wakes at night
• Has 2 bottom teeth that have poked through.
• Rolls over from back to tummy and tummy to back
• Loves to be outside in the warm (not so much in the cold but doesn't fuss when in the cold)
• Has eaten steamed sweet potato's, avocado, rice cereal (all mixed with breastmilk)
• Kicks legs when in the swimming pool or bath tub.
• Loves to swim!
• Has gone to Idaho, Washington and flown to Palm Springs, CA - did very well on his flight and slept on both flights to get there and was awake but not crying on the flight back.
• Can sit unassisted but will eventually lean to far in any direction and still isn't aware of the consequences of falling over.
• Smiles and giggles, will giggle uncontrollably when tickled or when Nick nuzzles him
• Cuddles and "hugs" will hold on tight when you skip or jump while holding him
• Will bat his arm at Nick if I am holding him and Nick is goofy with him - super cute!
• Is working on the mechanics for crawling and can get onto his hands and knees for a brief moment but has yet to put together the moving part of crawling.
• "swims" on the floor kicking his legs and arms which I believe is working on crawling muscles without really knowing when needs to be done to actually crawl.
• Still loves to be around people and I am pretty sure he would be happy to be touching a person at all times.
• Loves to play"jazz hands" on our faces, will grab you cheeks, mouth and nose
• When he smiles his whole face lights up
• Says "bababa"
• Jumps in your arms, in the saucer, in the johnny jump up
• Loves people
• Below 50% in height, weight and head