Random thoughts on Friday

• I was watching Barrett play with his large legos. He usually is playing with someone and it is rare that he plays for a long stretch alone. This was a rare moment. I was cleaning up around the house and paused to observe him for a while. He didn't notice me. He color codes his legos. I observed long enough that it wasn't just coincidence. He takes them apart, puts them back together, always color coded, often size coded too. Super smart? Type A? OCD? Or just something he is doing now?
• Every time I pull out the vacuum (which is often), Barrett gets his. 
• Do you ever feel like your house is cluttered and you look around for things to get rid of or pack away and there is nothing that fits the bill? You realize there really isn't much in the room in the first place, yet it still looks cluttered?
• Do you ever wonder what makes a location "the ideal place" for a person? Someone that is born and raised in Portland may feel like they can't wait to get out and move somewhere else, then someone visits here from somewhere else like the east coast and it's their "dream" place to live? And with all the rain, how could Portland really be a "dream" place. Sure there are great restaurants, and if you live in Portland proper, lots of things to do and you would rarely have to drive - but who comes to a place where it rains 9 months out of the year and says "yes! this is where I was meant to live!" I love winter, but with SNOW, not rain and grey. 
• I get to make my C-Section appointment today at 2. It's such a strange concept to pick a date for the birth of my child. I can still opt for a VBAC but in the mean time, I will put a date on the calendar for baby #2's arrival. 
• Do you ever get a little stressed when things are unknown or in flux? I definitely am a go with the flow type person but sometimes there are a lot of things that are up in the air and it definitely makes me a little stressed. Baby #2 arriving will drastically change our family. My contracting job is in a bit of a state of unknown after baby so I don't know if I will continue 2 days a week or if I will be a full time stay-at-home mom, which not only changes the family dynamic but also our income. We wonder a lot whether this area is right for us raising our family. I love our house. I do. I love our property, I love our house. I love the friendships I have here. What I don't love is big city life. I don't like the crime, the grime, the traffic, the amount of time it takes to get anywhere, the huge schools, the huge class sizes, the lack of neighborly helpfulness, the lack of neighborly kindness, the lack of help your neighbor (or even get to know your neighbor) mentality, the cost of living, the distance to most of the outdoor activities we love, the rain. I don't know how I feel about raising my children in this apathetic, crime ridden, dirty, traffic filled, long commute filled city. I just don't know that it is the "right fit" for us. I do love the amenities but they are all far away an in trying to live a more simple life, it really isn't necessary to live close to places where we can stock up on more crap that we really didn't need in the first place. There is also a very "keeping up with the Jones'" mentality in big cities. You need a bigger more impressive house. You need better decor. You need to have your kid dressed well. You need to be dressed well. You need the nicer car. You just need everything to be nicer, better, more, etc. And lets be honest - at the end of the day, no one ever said "I wish I would have had more stuff, a bigger house, more money, worked more hours..." everyone always wishes they would have had more time to spend with the ones they love. I feel like in so many ways, big city living gets you stuck in the unimportant, fast life, big money and left in the dust are the important things. 
• A side note about city living. I discovered that I am more "at ease" in small towns. I found a new dentist in Molalla (a pretty small, working class town where lets be honest, nothing is going on). I drove into the small downtown area and immediately felt more at ease. So weird. I went in - they had messed up my appointment time so I had to wait a while. Everyone that walked in, the receptionist knew them. There were hi's hello's warm welcomes, and what-are-ya-doing's this weekend and how's-your-mothers and I saw so-and-so's. It was so warm. So personal. No we aren't moving to Molalla. As far as we are concerned, there are 2 options. 1) stay here in our house. 2) move to McCall, ID where we own a house already. Naturally, there are pro's and con's of both options. That's another post entirely. But here is a little tidbit for you. Oregon City High School has 2,800 kids. McCall, Idaho has a population of 2,700. The whole town is smaller than just the High School here. McCall is home to an amazing lake, amazing beauty, clean fresh air, 2 big ski mountains and 1 small, epic hiking, fishing, hunting (not that we hunt but fishing would be in our future), hot springs galore, cross country skiing and snow shoeing, epic snowmobiling (which Nick insists is fun) - it is a 2ish season outdoor paradise). Anyway, decisions are made slowly, but there is definitely potential flux, another unknown. 
• What is funny is we do technically live in a "small town" - we live in a Hamlet outside of Oregon City, both of which are considered small. But they are a part of the greater Portland Metro area and whoever organizes stuff in Oregon City must think of it as a commuter town because in terms of amenities, it is lacking. Very little for a mom to do with her kids. With such large schools I would think there would be more - and maybe there is an I am just missing it or haven't found it? It's baffling how little there is for families to do here given the young school aged kid population. Does everyone just go to surrounding areas like we do? And do they get as annoyed by the driving as I do? I end up staying home most of the time because who really wants to drive 30 minutes one way for a kid to play and then turn around and repeat the drive?
• I wonder at what point our society went from owning things (or foreseeably being able to own things) to owning payments. When did it go from having a dream of owning a home (and by owning I mean free and clear, no mortgage) to never having that as an end goal and rather owning a payment, moving to a bigger house with a bigger payment when we get better jobs, etc. Do we not realize that by never owning or aspiring to owning our own homes, we are basically renters? Sure you can write off the interest, but trust me, when you do the math of no payment versus the "tax benefit" of the write off, you will always come out ahead by not having the payment at all. Most people have a house payment, student loan payments, car payments, credit card payments and maybe a few other misc payments and society has told us that this is the way to go, that happiness comes from "owning" these things and therefore the payments justify the end goal - but then by the time we pay them off, if we ever do, we need a better whatever it was. Our grandparents didn't live like this, most of them ended up owning their homes. So when did this debt "rental/ownership" mentality come into play and why do we buy into it? A big part of my simplification goal that I set forth in my new years resolution includes simplification in payments. We only have 2. Mortgage and our airstream trailer. I am currently on a serious pay things off rampage because it will simplify life so much - and there is such an interesting relationship I have with making huge payments toward these things. On the one hand, I hate that I can't just put this money away or use it to pay cash for things I would rather buy/save for, on the other hand, there is great joy in seeing the total amount owed go down in huge chunks with the end goal of having zero payments at all (other than the monthlies like power and stuff). I kick myself for having bought into the "payment" thing. I am so glad that we have been able to pay everything else off over the past 6 years through careful planning and through buying very little/being careful how we spend but still, I don't know how I bought into payments in the first place. I will be sure to teach my children not to take on payments. Owning an older car that you own is better. Getting scholarships to school is better. Paying cash for things is better (cash meaning paying off a credit card monthly in full). Ultimately, don't we get more satisfaction in ownership when we have to "save up" and we finally have enough to buy the thing we really want? Don't we appreciate that item more than we do if we buy it and then pay it off over time?
• Happy Friday! We are going to check out the OC farmers market this Saturday!