More

Anyone have an opinion?

Or perhaps none of the above. Or maybe, you're on the right track but not quite there...

Asking for the Moon

If you know me, you know one thing. 

I L.O.V.E. being a mom. 

Never in a million years could I have imagined I would love it this much. Never could I have imagined I would love staying home so much. I love it. 

If you know me, you also know that I am always looking for the "next big thing" in life. If I am working, I am looking on the internet for a new, better, more amazing job. I am just the type of person who never seems settled, never is ok with staying in one place, doing the same thing. 

Being a stay at home mom is the first time I have ever, in my life, been settled. 

I love it. 

I don't look for other things. I don't search, dream or hope for more. I am right where I want to be. At home being a mom. On the days that I don't leave the house, I don't miss adult time. I don't miss dressing up. I don't miss going out. I am happy. 

Then came REI. I randomly got a call from them - would I be interested. And because it was something I had always thought about doing, I said sure. 700 people applied. They hired 7. I was one of the 7. Part of the 1%. 

The hours were more than I wanted but we got that worked out. 4 hours a week. 

Perfect. 

And a discount on the stuff we use. 

Great. 

Then I got an e-mail from the company I worked for as an independent accountant while pregnant and would I be interested in 3 days a week. 

No.

I asked if they were open to some working from home time. 

Sure. 1 day from home, 2 from the office. 

The deal still wasn't sweet enough. 

So I asked for the moon. And some stars. 

I asked for a lot of money. 

They said yes. 

Oops. 

So now we embark on a new chapter. One in which I see how 2 days of childcare work for us a week. One in which I test how I deal with being away from my tiny. How I deal with missing the best part of me. How I deal with being a "working mom" - and if the moon (my huger than I could ever have imagined hourly check) is worth it. 

My heart hurts at the thought of leaving my tiny. The first center I visited, I cried when I left. Not the place for us. 

And the thing is, the pay is enough for a nanny. But I live on one side of town and the office is on the other. 30 minutes without traffic. A whole lot more with. I want him close. I want to see him during the day. I want to drop in and feed him. We are still breastfeeding. So the best is a center. 

My heart still hurts. 

Because as I said above. I love staying home. 

So this will be a trial. I have no expectations and this may be shortlived.

 Or maybe it will be great. 

9 months old

• Sleeps in bed with us. Wakes 2-5 times to eat.
• Naps 2-3 times a day (in his stroller or the car seat)
• Eats everything, but not on his own, he likes to be fed.
• Just started drinking water and thinks it is a treat.
• Loves to empty things
• Pulls up on furniture, you, or anything
• Crawls. Fast
• Plays with toys, objects
• Bangs things together, on things
• Makes motor sounds
• Opens and closes things
• Pushes and pulls things
• Has 2 bottom teeth and his 2 fang teeth and 1 center upper tooth
• Sits on his knees all the time which is so cute
• Bounces up and down to music
• Still loves his paci
• Loves to cuddle
• Loves baths
• Loves to be naked
• Trys to climb in and on things
• Wears size 9 month onsies, 9 month pants (a little long), 9 month everything pretty much
• As noted in the previous post, is on the very small end of the spectrum compared to other kids his age, however, there was no concern from the doctor about his growth so everything is great.
• Smiles a lot, laughs a lot
• Cries hard when he is tired and wants to be held and you walk away. Will crawl after you while crying which is just so sad.
• Tries to pet his dog, Trooper doesn't like him.
• Loves to stand at the door and look outside.
• Loves to play with the vacuum
• Enjoys closing doors, opening drawers, pulling things out of cabinets.
• Enjoys pulling books, DVD's off the shelf
• Travels well and doesn't seem bothered by being in different places.

9 month stats

Weight: 18 lbs 5 oz (16%)
Height: 27.5 Inches (24%)
Head: 44.3/4 (35%)

Someone has to represent the tiny end of the spectrum...and my little tiny is a ball of love, cuddles and smiles. I just can't get enough of my little dinky-rink.

May/June update

Things have been crazy around here.

We started our construction company and Nick and his Dad have been working out of town on jobs, mostly on the coast. That leaves me home to take care of the little guy during much of the week.

I took a part time job at REI which I do evenings and weekends. It has been a real challenge because Nick is out of town which can make finding places for Bear difficult. We will see how long the job lasts. While I like interaction with the public, stressing every week whether I will be able to find a place for Bear is not really worth the teeny tiny wage I make.

I have also been doing books for our construction company whenever I can find the time to fit it in. I feel like for the most part, I manage to get everything done, but these people who say they work a full time job from home while they watch their kids - either they have the least busy kids ever or they are just letting their kids run wild and ignoring them because let me tell you, getting a job done while watching a baby is not easy.

We re-sided our house - still waiting on the people to contact us regarding paint but the house is re-sided. It needed to be done when we moved in 4.5 years ago but the roof needed to be done too, so the roof won in 2008 and we finally did the siding just last week. Basically, we have done everything on this house. I can't believe how much we have done when I sit back and think about it. Full kitchen remodel, all new trim, full guest bathroom remodel, partial master bath remodel, new tile in entry, new front door, new back patio door, new roof, new siding, new paint in and out, new landscaping (still in progress), new floors throughout, new blinds, we are working on the deck. It is absolutely mind blowing that we have done that much to the house. The sad thing is, the market has tanked and our house is pretty much worthless compared to what we paid, even with everything we have done. Dont get me started, it is one of the things that makes my blood boil. We really would love to move to our cabin in McCall, but there is no way we would be able to sell our house even for break-even what we paid, even with all the improvements. It is endlessly frustrating and makes me so sad that we got into the market right at the wrong time and lost not only our 20% down payment but also all of our improvements - we did everything right, we paid 20% down, ect. We got screwed. It's tragic. Stupid housing colapse.

Barrett is so busy these days. Pulling up, eating anything (pureed), crawling, playing with his toys, smiling, giggling, learning faster than I can put into words. He is so happy, so bright and sunny. I absolutely love spending time with him.

So that is us these days. I have been a horrible blogger but with trying to do the yard, do books for our business, working at REI and trying to be the best mostly stay at home mom that I can be, there doesn't seem to be much time for blogging.

Bear v. Mommy