Forward

I got one of those silly forwards in my email the other day and while most of the time I ignore them because I lack the time to fill them out, for some reason, I needed a break from what I was doing so I filled it out. One of the questions was "what did you want to be when you were little?" I got all kinds of responses from friends - "law enforcement" or "marine biologist" or "a buyer" etc. I got to thinking- I honestly cannnot for the life of me remember what I wanted to be when I "grew-up." What kind of person can't remember what they dreamed of growing up to be? Or maybe I was just so into what I was doing that I didn't really take the time to think about what I wanted to be or what I was passionate about. Even now, I don't know what I want to "be." I am too indecisive, or maybe I like too many things, or don't like enough things. Maybe I always hoped that some special something or other just fell in my lap and I would be like, yes! I love this! If that something exists, I have yet to find it.

I find it interesting, people will say - "well what do you really love to do?" I have lots of hobbies. I love to work out, go for a walk, snowboard, ride my bike, go to breakfast with friends and family, travel, relax, spend whole days in my pj's, be involved in many activities, teach, be social, watch movies and on and on- but I dont know that I love any of those things soooo much that I would or could make a full career out of them.

It is interesting how you find yourself on a path - in a career. Never in my musings did I ever think that my career path would including knowing about SFAS's, SAS, EITF's, CPA's, Controllers, Debits, Credits, Classified Balance Sheets, Statement of Cash Flows, Disclosure Checklists, etc. Yes - a whole new foreign language. Even now, after 3 years living in the accounting world, I still feel like I am a foreigner and I still feel out of place. And honestly, I can't even beging to explain how I got here. What I do know is that, for a kid that was bad at math, I still find it strange that I am here. For a kid that got in trouble for being too social in class, it is strange that I find myself in a cubicle (or in a back office at a client's). For a kid that couldnt sit still, it is strange to sit all day. And for a kid that procrastinated and weaseled out of responsibilities, it is strange to have a large workload. I would never, in a million years have even gotten close if I would have tried to guess that I would be doing what I am doing. Life is so interesting.

OK complete switch in gears-

I am now trying to learn more about migraines since I have now had 5 in less than a year (zero previously). I have, apparantly, the more rare kind called migraine with aura. The aura for me is crazy vision. I will start to see spots, or have missing pieces in my vision, get wavy jagged vision. It is the strangest thing. So here is what I have come up with - I have no signal before the vision occurs, but once the vision has occurred, even medication wont help. During the vision issue (which lasts 20 minutes), there is no pain. There is no pain once the vision thing stops for the next 10 - 20 minutes, at which point I will get a dull headache. This is followed by a pain "explosion" in which I really cannot think straight. Sleeping in the dark is really the only thing that helps - and this will last from 2 - 4 hours. Then I spend the next 2 days really really tired. Stress is a trigger - but I am stressed a lot so I dont know if my stress relates to migraines. Birth control is a trigger - and I think this may be my first point of "elimination" because supposedly estrogen can make it worse? I really feel like I am groping in the dark on this one. I just have a really hard time believing that at 26 you can start getting them and then get them progressively more over time. My biggest worry is that it is related to lighting. If it is the lights in offices, I just don't know how I can fix that. Anyway - any additial knowledge you might have about these horrible headaches is much appreciated.